Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Randomize
