I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
