I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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