I could make wine with my vomit
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Randomize
