Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
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