I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Randomize
