I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
