we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
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