I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
And then my night got REAL pukey
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
