My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Randomize
