shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
