my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
