guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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