he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
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I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
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and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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