If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
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