Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
