So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
