Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Randomize
