You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
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