I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
