i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Someone signed my nipple.
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