My friends, they love my intelligence
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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