someone threw a dead crab at me
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
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