it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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