No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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