dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
