Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
