can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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