this is something i pride myself on being below average for
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
