we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
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