sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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