the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize
