ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
