suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Randomize
