i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
She needs sedatives and a leash
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
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