I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
