you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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