found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
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I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
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You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
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