were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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