shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
