Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Randomize
