I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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