Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
