I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Two words: blizzard sex
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
