just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
