I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
