why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
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