I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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