by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
