I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Randomize
