Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
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