just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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