guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
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