Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize
