She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
A bitchslap is in order.
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