Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
