It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
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