i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
My liver just had a heart attack.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
