Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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