Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
